TwentyFirstLove

Profile


Louisa Lee
Nineteen
a place to pent out memories and deepest feelings. <3

I feel cheated, that all these were just lies.
The magical moments I had, the days you gave me, the love and care you showered on me, was it just an action out of love, or was that because of the “name” we had? If you had loved, you wouldn’t left. Maybe… I regretted, for not leaving when it happened the first time. I always thought I never did, but I guess maybe I did, because of how much hurt I’m getting back now. For holding on and loving while you don’t anymore. For you pretending to care when you don’t even bother, you’ve changed. & I have to be selfish because I wanna be happy. I just can’t seem to be, because I’ll come around sticking back to you, but I guess I don’t wanna do it anymore. Go have your life without me, I may be better off without you. If I really mattered, I guess you would know of this existence. But if know you don’t, because you do not care anymore… Even if you do, it’s just a curiosity you’d have to see what’s inside me. It will be difficult.. Maybe I should start taking the very first step. Goodbye may be the hardest choice in my life because of the fears.. But I can’t keep on going like that just because of the years of relationship we had, because it’s not based on how long I know a person I should be holding on to. It’s about who’s worth it, or even, keeping people who will make me genuinely happy. I’m drained… So drained. One day continuing like this, I might become someone dead right there, when I lost all my conscious in being a human with rights. I’m always at fault, you are always right. Yeap, you’re right. Your decision is what I should follow. I want to find myself back, love myself, and allow someone to love me more than you do, cherish me more than you do, doesn’t leave me more than you do. Just one day… Even if I have to go through a couple of hell days, months or even years.. Maybe just that one day.. I can be happy like I was. Seeing old photos of the happy me, and the now me. Im not truly happy again, I didn’t. Since last year. Although I hate changes, but I have no choice. Not at all. Maybe it’s time for me. To be happy…