TwentyFirstLove

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Louisa Lee
Nineteen
Pink, Pooh, Fashion, Dance & Florals

Managed to find this video out and download it, sigh. 
I miss how exclusive I was to you, that you’d do things I requested..
I love seeing you shuffling, seeing you doing your aggressive skates, seeing you being very into things you love, I really love everything you have, like and admire, I’d do equally the same to what you hate too.
I miss you M, I’m waiting for you still..
I don’t know if you still care or still wants me to be a part of your life anymore, but I shall keep in mind all those wonderful things you’ve given me, physically or even mentally. They’re the best I could have. Little things you do to tell me you’ll be there for me for whatever happens, when i have bruises you asked if anybody bullied me, and wanted to stand up for me, you taking care of me when I was hospitalized, not having enough sleep, when I was paralyzed for that few days, you’d stay by my side, feed me, attend to me when I was emotional and hug me and be strong for me. How I wish I could depend on you like how I could, and be proudly calling you mine again, how I wished you’d tell me you love me again and be proud to show I’m yours too… Maybe that was the past, but I never regretted. 
I love you, I really really do…

He does not bother ok?
He does not care about clearing up.
He does not give any shit about you.
Even when you die.
He does not love anymore.
He does not wants to see you anymore.
He does not want you.
He does not want to be there for you anymore.
He does not see anything between us anymore.
He does not even care about your existence even if you’re infront of him.

Basically he’s got over you, he’s not caring anymore.
Alright.. I get it, just let me dream about things and dream about us, indulge in the good old memories and dreams about the loving him.
The good will never be forgotten, and I love even if it’s good or bad.
But secretly. (: